Talking to Children About the War

Talking to Children

Below are some resources we have found after an initial search on talking to children about violence, war, and terrorism. Please let me know if you know of any resources.

Purdue extension school: www.ces.purdue.edu/terrorism

Red Cross: www.redcross.org/services.afes/

Reading to Kids Program: www.read2kids.org/uniting.htm

Web MD: "Telling your Kids About War" www.my.webmd.com

Time for Kids "Kids Speak out Against War" www.timeforkids.com

Evangelical Lutheran Church of America resources www.elca.org/dhes/schools/peace/index.html

The following information has been provided by The Christian Education and Congregational Mission Unit of the The Uniting Church in Australia, Synod of Victoria and Tasmania:

Hope, Peace and Children
A resource for congregations and families in a time of war

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.
-Anne Lamott

We wish more than anything, that we did not have to write this resource. We pray that you will not need to use it.

We wish that our children would grow up not knowing what war is. We also know that for many children across the world, war is all they know.

It will be impossible for us to shield our children from knowing about this war - - and perhaps we shouldn't try to anyway. Our communities of faith can offer a space where we talk directly with our children so they hear accurate information, are able to express their fears, and discover some ways to respond.

A few things that are helpful to remember:
§ Take your lead from the children - ask them general questions about what they are hearing, or what they are feeling at the moment, rather than assuming that their fears are the same as yours.
§ Remember that children are often unable to discern between sarcasm and honesty. Conversations that use sarcasm or humor can often be a very helpful way for adults to cope with a situation like this; if children over hear the same conversation, they might not understand the subtleties within the conversation (for example, a friend of mine joked with her brother who is in the army band, that he might need to go and play his trumpet on the front line. Her five year old believed it).
§ After any conversation about war, offer an activity that will give children a sense of hope. For example, light a candle together and put it out the front of your house, write an email to the prime minister, make a decision about eating simply for the night and putting money aside for an aid program. Pray.
§ Monitor the amount of time spent talking, listening and watching war. Media coverage can be overwhelming and all-absorbing. Think about ways of spending as much time talking about peace as you do about war.
§ Often our conversation about the current situation - even amongst like-minded people - can become almost 'violent' in tone. We express our anger at leaders in voices that are themselves aggressive. This can be quite cathartic for us - but quite draining for those who are listening. Think creatively - especially in our conversations with children - of ways to be passionate without being aggressive.

The Christian Education and Congregational Mission Unit produces a monthly resource called 'Practicing Faith at Home'. This resource for April 2003 is focused on peacemaking in the home. This resource is available by emailing CECM on cec@kew.vic.uca.org.au

One other idea is to use the following prayer on a handout at church, as candles are lit by various people. Have copies of this prayer available, with more candles, so that families can take a prayer and candle home to repeat this together each night.

Leader: Jesus, we know that you came so that everyone would have life.